Have you ever tried to be someone that had it all together?
Have you ever tried to be strong no matter how weak and fragile you felt inside?
Have you ever tried to help everyone around you and not admit needing someone yourself?
Yesterday I realised that that is exactly what I was doing.
Once again clinging to my mask of “I’m fine thank you” with a big smile on my face and trying not to allow myself to be honest with myself or others. Because if I were to be honest, I would probably start to cry.
Because I just felt so tired.
Because I just felt so overwhelmed.
Because I just felt so scared.
Because I just felt like I’d failed in so many ways.
Because I just felt alone and not strong enough to make it on my own.
And then I ran to Jesus. And I broke down before him. I told him everything that was on my heart. And he just let me cry and surrounded me with his love. And I was amazed by what I found!
Jesus has loved me more than anyone ever could. He loved me so much, he gave everything for me. He gave his own life. The response he deserves is unceasing gratitude and adoration!!! Yet he is willing to give even more! He invites me to come to him with my burdens and to find love, peace and rest in him! The best friendship imaginable! He not only gave his life for me once that I might live – he gives his life always. He is always there, waiting for me to seek him out. To spend time with him. To seek intimacy with him. To tell him what’s on my heart. To let him love me. To tell him I love him. And I do – I do love him. Because he loved me first.
And this love is what sets me free from all fear and lies.
I don’t need to always have it all together.
I don’t need to always be strong.
Because it’s not about me and what I am capable of. Its about God and what he is capable of!
The more I learn to trust in HIM and to lean on HIS strength rather than my own – the more I will be able to achieve because it will be HIS doing! His power is made perfect in weakness. When I am weak – HE is strong.
If you ever felt like me – please don’t stay there! Whatever it is that’s bothering you no matter how huge or trivial it may seem – its ok to be down and its even ok to cry. Let go of your pride. You don’t need to be some kind of super hero!
Run to Jesus! He says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV Bible Matthew 11, 28-30)